I’ve been married to DH for 25 years!
It’s also known as “The Silver Anniversary.”
25 Years – It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long.
I suppose we are doing pretty well considering the national averages.
Not only do 42% of first marriages end in divorce, they usually end in less than 8 years. (source)
By the way, when I first fell in love with DH, I came home from college completely smitten. I only had a couple of pictures of him and couldn’t wait for my Mom and Dad to meet him in person.
My dad took one look at the photograph of my future husband and remarked,
“All of your children are going to look like tadpoles.”
Some thoughts on marriage from a girl who’s been hitched for 25 years –
#1: Men can’t see.
After living with men for more decades than I’d like to mention, I can say without a doubt that this is true.
If you need someone to go to the basement and grab a jar of jelly.
Or go to the outside refrigerator and get a jar of pickles.
Or go to the barn to get you a shovel.
Or walk into the kitchen and get your phone…
Don’t send a man.
Not an old man
Not a young man.
Not an 8-year-old man.
Because they will be back in 3 minutes to tell you it isn’t there.
It is there.
Send a girl and you will be holding said item in 1 minute.
Send a man and you’ll be going to get it yourself.
Don’t waste your time sending a dude.
Men can’t see.
#2: Go to bed angry.
Y’all may all decide that I need a therapist and my marriage has issues after hearing this.
The whole world will tell you, “Never go to bed angry.” But I say – if you’re ready to bite your husbands head off you may want to sleep on it.
It’s a fact that most disagreements between spouses are over trivial things that got blown out of proportion.
People may as well say: Never go to bed angry – Stay up and fight all night.
I go to bed angry.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve regretted opening my mouth.
I’ve learned that I can’t take things back – so sometimes it’s best to keep mum.
Now I’m talking about little things. If there is a massive problem happening in your marriage or family – for goodness sake, talk about it.
If it’s just me feeling neglected, hurt, ignored, unloved or some other self-directed emotion – I don’t always hash it out right away.
In the morning things usually look a little different.
I can’t take words back, but I can always let him have it later.
#3: Romance isn’t Everything.
I know so many ladies (and gentlemen) who love fancy dinners, long stem roses, and romantic candlelight.
I am not one of them.
If you write me a poem, a song or ask me to slow dance in the living room I will probably move out.
On the other hand, if you buy me a box of dark chocolates and tell me I’m beautiful, I’ll never leave.
#4: Stop Trying to Change them
We are usually attracted to people who are different from us. They are strong in areas where we are weak, they are good at things we are bad at, they complete us.
So we marry our opposites…
And then we spend the next two decades trying to make them like us.
#5: Date your Spouse
Date night is a must around here. DH is the worst.
I’ve always been the one who had to schedule date nights, hire the baby sitter and tell DH he’s is taking me out. I realize this takes a bit of the whimsy out of it – but remember, I’m not a romantic.
As long as he gets in the truck and drives me away from my children (remember, there’s 4 of them) for the evening – I’m happy.
#6: Attention Husbands
Before we go, I have a little advice for all the husbands out there. Whether you’ve been married for 2 months or 20 years – these rules seem to apply across the board.
Things you shouldn’t say to your wife:
- You look great for your age.
- Are you on your period?
- You should get my mom’s recipe for that.
- What did you do all day?
- You don’t need any more shoes.
- You snore.
Now for some trivial tidbits from random places that make me smile:
- “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.”
― Ann Bancroft
- “Smile…it kills time between disasters.”
- “Life is an endless struggle, full of frustrations and challenges. But eventually, you find a hairstylist you like.”
- “Cheer Up the worst is yet to come!”
My daughter just told me that I should tell you one solid piece of advice.
This is not from me, but I wish it was. It is a gem from the Bible Study Teacher, Beth Moore and I have been quoting and requoting this treasure for the past 12 years to every woman or young lady I have crossed paths with –
Are you ready for it?
Get a pen – because you may want to jot this down and remember it…
- “Ladies, ‘Submit’ means duck, so God can hit your husband.”
Here’s to 25 more years of ducking!