14 Dead Meat Chickens

We had 22 meat chickens.

Then I stepped on one.  Accidentally, of course.

I broke it’s neck.  I asked my son if he thought it might be able to recover.  After seeing it running around with it’s head dragging the ground my son said, “No.”  So, he put it out of it’s misery……. by stepping on it….. again…….. on purpose!

To say that I was freaking out is the understatement of the universe.  Arg!  What?!  Panic!   Sadness!  Horror!

“YOU JUST STEPPED ON MY CUTE, BABY, INJURED CHICKEN!”

“Mom, it wasn’t going to live. It’s neck was broken.  It’s head was on the ground.”

“Give me a minute to start breathing again and Ill be fine.”

That night DH left the back, barn door open (accidentally).  My baby meat chicks were in the barn.  Baby chicks (that are not under a broody mama hen) will peep almost constantly.  I think all the cheeping was beckoning to any predator in the woods that the buffet was open.  Apparently, an opossum heard the call.  And answered.  The next day I had 12 more meat chickens dead.

In case you’re having trouble keeping track, I now have 9 meat chickens.

I suppose you could get technical and say I had more than 9 chickens if you count the dead ones the opossum killed, shredded and threw all over the barn for me to find.

I go to get a bucket – there’s a head and 2 feet.

I go to the loft to get some hay for my pigs – there I find a dead, chicken carcass.  No head of course.

I go to the tool bench for a pair of pliers – more random chicken pieces.

Keep in mind that this is happening over a 5 day period – every day I feel like I’m stumbling upon another massacre.  With me the squeaks, squeals and running don’t stop just because it’s the 4th head I’ve stumbled upon this week.  I still panic, drop things and run.

I hate opossums.  And raccoons.  And coyotes.

1 Dead Opossum

The only good side to this story is that we got to blow the brains out of the numskull who shredded my chickens and threw their parts all over the barn for me to find.

I spoke with our local Animal Control Office as well as the Kentucky Department of Fish and Wildlife.  They both confirmed that if the wildlife (opossum in this case) is causing document-able  problems it is fine to exterminate the animal.

I’m going to say chicken parts everywhere & the fact that he ended up in the animal trap next to my dead meat chickens is document-able enough for me.

So on Saturday, I had 9 meat chickens alive.  Then we went to a friends house for dinner that night.  We stayed too late and I didn’t get my chickens into the coop early enough.  You know what happens to chickens who aren’t locked in the coop by dark don’t you?  Varmint food.

I’m not sure what got it, but the next day I had 8 chickens.  Isn’t this fun?

I really don’t know why I bother with the meat chickens.  This is the 3rd time we’ve raised them and every time it’s the same story.  I spend a bunch of money on meat chickens.  Then I spend a bunch of time getting their coop and run set up.  Then I spend more money feeding them super-healthy, chicken-feed.  Then I feed them to the local raccoons, opossums and coyotes.  Story of my meat chicken life.

Our friend, with the CSA, who got 300 chickens for 5 cents each gave me 8 more chicks on Sunday (300 chickens here) ……..

This puts me back up to 16 meat chickens……….. for now.

I guess I should be happy I don’t have a whole lot of money in them.

Someone Hit My Car With a 4-Wheeler…….. Again

Did I ever tell you about the catastrophe that occurred when George and Polly were delivered to our farm?

No, well, you can not go on until you hear this one………

George and Polly are our potbelly pigs.  Our overfed, overweight potbelly pigs that we took in because they needed a new home.  For the record, I had nothing to do with the overfeeding.  George is the (fully intact) boar, tusks & mouth foam included.  Polly is his first lady, who is currently expecting their first litter.

So, George & Polly (potbelly couple) were being delivered.

Let me give you a quick run-down of who was at our farm on this particular day:

1. A friend of our was power washing our house.  He brought a couple of his 6 kids with him for the day to hang out.
2. Mr. Friend from the CSA farm was here helping DH work on the manure spreader.
3. The guy from the Pawnshop was here delivering Polly & George (the pot belly pigs).
4. That guy’s mother-in-law and her 3 grandchildren came in a separate car to deliver George (because he wouldn’t fit in the car with Polly)

It was INSANE.  A real 3 Ring Circus.  Kids everywhere.  Pigs everywhere.  People everywhere.

So, Mr. Guy from the Pawnshop and I are at the pig pasture with Polly.  We are waiting for Grandma to show up with George.  When she pulls in I am jumping up and down like a maniac trying to get her attention so she can bring the pig to the pig pasture.   She didn’t see me jumping around and waving my arms like a chimpanzee and proceeded to drive all the way down the driveway and into the back of my van.  Yup.  She nailed it.

Technically, she had put her truck in park and was trying to figure out where the pig was supposed to go when she rolled downhill into my van.  The back of my van was a mess.  I was not a happy camper.  Turns out the truck was not her’s.  It belonged to her daughter.  When the police showed up he requested proof of insurance and there was none.

Side note:  I was a bit surprised to see when Mr. Police got to the scene of the accident that he knew Grandma and all her grand kids by name.  Is it a good thing when the woman who just bashed into the back of your car is on a first name basis with the local police officers?

I suppose I shouldn’t judge…….. after all when he got out of his car the first thing he said to me was, “It’s the 911 hang-up call house.”

Yes, my child called 911 and hung up.  It was about 3 Weeks ago.

I was in the shower when the alleged phone call occurred.

I got out of the shower to jumping, small children stating that the police were at the front door.  What?  Why are the police here?

NO one bothered to mention that they had just hung up on 911!!!

I got dressed & answered the door with a bright smile and asked what I could do for the officer.

That’s when he informed me that there was a 911 hang-up call that just came from my address & he was stopping by to see if everything was alright.  It took me a second to process that my sweet children had been hanging up on the Emergency Hot Line Number while I was showering.

Forehead slap.

What is wrong with my children?

“No, Officer, everything is fine – except for the small children who are about to be in big trouble.”

After the officer left I walked back into the house where a line-up of 4 children starred at me with giant eyes.  I said, “They just had a 911 hang-up call from this address!”  My teenagers laughed, of course.  My 10 year old quickly responded, “I’m sorry Mommy!”

We had a lesson in emergencies & busy police officers & tax payers dollars & naughty children & that I’m pretty sure it is against the law to dial 911 unless you have an emergency.

It just so happens that the officer who came to check on our 911 hang-up call was the same officer who came to the insanity when Grandma crashed into the back of my van. Good times.

So, back to the story.  Mr. Police is here and needs proof of insurance, which Grandma doesn’t have.

That’s when the daughter and son showed up (the owners of the truck).

Let’s do a quick head count:  DH, me, our 4 kids, Power-washer guy & his kids, Grandma and her 3 grand-kids, Mr. Guy from pawnshop, Mr. Friend fixing manure spreader, Mr. Police Officer and now Mr & Mrs. Truck Owner are all milling about our farm.  My car is wrecked……. again….  I’m a fit of unhappiness and ruffled as I can get…..

This is when DH looks at me and says, “Calm down.  It’s just a car.”

Are you insane?  Calm down?  Look around – we live at  lunatic headquarters.  Someone rescue me!!!

Long story, short – they found the insurance, they fixed my car.  I just got it back from the body shop all shiny and good as new when……………..

Are you ready for this?

Here we go……………………..

A couple of nights ago my child comes in the house crying……… my child who does not cry.

Turns out she hit my car……. again……. with a 4-wheeler……….. again.

I was not a happy mama.

I think God is trying to teach me something.

It is not working.

I am having a hard time learning this lesson that is being taught to me through the constant bashing of my new car.

You know the good thing about God is that He will never let you fail a test.  He just makes you take it over, and over, and over, and over, and over…….. until you pass it.

Ugh.  I don’t want to take this test anymore.

DH keeps reminding me, “Calm down.  It’s just a car.”

So, I am without a car currently because it is being fixed for the umpteenth time.

If you haven’t read about my children’t ability to run 4-wheelers into stationary objects, you should.  Go here for more farm collision stories.

My kids (and their friends) have taken the siding off the corner of the house, hit my car 2 3 times, not to mention run into gardens, trees and fences.

There was a time when my baby was first learning how to drive a 4-wheeler.  No matter how many times we told him, he couldn’t remember how to use the hand brakes or the foot brake.  When he wanted to stop he would just run into something.  The house.  The garden.  The fence.  A tree. Whatever.  That’s how he stopped.

Maybe they’ll have the hang of driving by the time they are 16……..

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Anyone?