Whole30 Week 3 Review – Weight Report, Bathroom issues & my tongue hurts

Well.  This thing can’t end soon enough, people.

I’ve done some seriously strenuous eating programs, but this one wins first place.

I HATE the coffee situation.

No, coconut cream isn’t good.

No, coconut milk isn’t good.

No, carrot lattes aren’t good.

No, apple lattes aren’t good.

I can’t wait to have my normal coffee with a teaspoon of maple syrup stirred in.

It’s hard to believe a little raw milk and a teaspoon of syrup can have such an effect on my life.

The Whole30 people say that drinking coffee black is not hard.  They’re wrong.

I have had some interesting thoughts recently about this Whole30 program & was going to wait until the final wrap-up post to share them, but I don’t think I can wait.

There have been some victories and some interesting developments.

Salad without avocado, because I’m trying to cut back

#1: The Weight Report

I weighed myself.

I know, I wasn’t supposed to.  I couldn’t stand it.  I was convinced that I had gained 5 pounds on the avocado & hard boiled egg ration I’m currently on.  I warned you last week I was going to break the rules & get on my scale.  No one tried to stop me, so onto the scale I plunged.  The result.

The good news is that I have not gained any weight.

I haven’t lost any either.

Which is kinda eye opening.

I’ve been thinking about this and trying to figure out why all the people on the internet who do a Whole30 lose gobs of weight and I’ve seen no change.  I read a really funny article reviewing the Whole30 from a dude who lost 20 pounds!!  20 pounds in 30 days – AND he totally cheated on it.

I’ve been following their rules (almost) and haven’t lost an ounce.

I haven’t had any form of sugar in 20 days… not natural sugar, not organic sugar, not honey, not maple syrup, not even a stevia leaf.  And I haven’t lost an ounce.

What’s up with that?

I think maybe it’s because I eat pretty clean on a normal basis and the whole30 wasn’t too much of a shift for my body.

This is what brought me to my next thought.

The Way I Eat Normally:  Real food.  Whole food.  All food.  As long as it’s real (fruit, veggies, meat, nuts, raw dairy, berries, eggs, honey, maple syrup, wine, fats, grains, etc) I eat it.  I mill my own wheat berries for flour.  I make my own carbs (pasta, crackers, breads).  I milk my own cow for dairy.

I eat everything.  I never feel deprived.  I am so satisfied.  I eat constantly.  I love my food.

And…. I lose weight, feel great and have tons of energy.

Let’s compare this to how I am eating on Whole30:  I’m eating fruit, veggies, eggs & meat.  That’s pretty much it.  Some nuts & some fats are allowed.  Whole grains, oats, dairy products and all things good in life are banned on the Whole30.

I feel so deprived.  I feel so starved.  I miss my food.  I miss my mill.  I miss baking.  I miss cooking.  I miss coffee.  I miss the wonderful event dinner used to be.

Dinner is now just fuel.  Eat it.  Clean up the kitchen.  Do something else.

Not fun.

I don’t feel better either.

Maybe I need to give it another week.   We’ll see if I feel different…

Spicy, pork gumbo in lettuce wraps with guacamole, sriracha & homemade cilantro-lime dressing…. This was the (food) highlight of my week!

All this suffering & there is literally no change in my weight, how my body feels and my energy level has decreased…..

Deep Thoughts:  I know, the whole30 is not about eating “whole foods” or “real foods.”  It’s not about weight loss or dieting.  It is about discovery, allergies, intolerances, self reflection and food issues in general.  I dig it.  

Why am I doing this?  Oh yeah, I love my friends & I wanted to do it with them.  🙂

#2:  Bathroom issues

They say the Whole30 is the gateway to “Food Freedom.”  I’m not sure what this means, but I can without a doubt confirm that the Whole30 is the definitive gateway to “Colon Freedom.”

I don’t really want to blog about it and I’m sure you don’t want to read about it – but let’s just say that Whole30 will set your colon free.  One of my besties who is doing this with me sent a group text to all of us on the Whole30 announcing her “Colon Freedom.” We all had a good laugh and unanimously agreed. No confined colons on the Whole30.

Not that I ever had any bathroom issues to begin with – but the current bathroom visitation schedule is ridiculous.

I’ll stop now.  Sorry.

#3:  My tongue hurts

What is up with my tongue???  It always hurts.  It hurts in the morning.  It hurts in the afternoon.  It hurts at bedtime.  It’s like someone rubbed it with sandpaper & it won’t go away.  Eating acidic foods like pineapple or grapefruits make it worse… but avoiding them doesn’t make it any better.

I have no idea what is going on with my tongue.  It started the end of the first week & has been going on for about 2 weeks now.

I think it’s the coffee.  Stupid Whole30.

My refrigerator has been overtaken by fruit & vegetables

I did say that there were some victories.

Stay tuned until next week to get the scoop on those.

Until then, here’s a menu plan for the next 7 days that I probably won’t follow.  LOL

I am the worst at menu planning.  Well, I can plan menus, sticking to them is my problem.

Comments Pleeeeease! 🙂  Tell me how y’all are doing?  Does your tongue hurt?  Why oh why does my tongue hurt?  Someone help!

I set the blog up so everyone can comment – if you have any trouble leaving a comment let me know (here).

 

Stay Healthy Guys!!

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XO,

Candi

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