Chicken Butcher Bloopers – Look Away!

I just couldn’t resist….

When you process your own chickens there are endless amusing happenings.  And since I always have a camera in my hand, I got a few pics.

Viewer discretion Strongly Advised – I’ve been told that these pictures are really disgusting.  I guess I’ve been doing this homesteading thing long enough that it doesn’t bother me much….  Is that bad?

If you don’t mind blood, this is for you.

This was the first chicken we ever killed.  Ever.  It was in 2011.  The camera was terrible.  The picture is blurry.

I have no idea how many chickens we’ve killed since then.

We’ve come a long way in the chicken processing department.  

Let’s just say we had NO IDEA what to expect after the head was chopped off.  DH was as surprised as anyone.

We knew it would have some after effects.  We knew the nervous system would react and the body would move involuntarily.  We had heard about chickens “running around with their heads chopped off.”

But, we were not prepared…..

For the headless chicken to do backflips all the way into the woods.

My youngest child was right by DH’s side for the whole experience.  Being his daddy’s boy he wasn’t about to miss the chicken death flick.  But, he did cover his eyes during the “headless, backflips show.”  Too cute.

My baby was still a baby back then.  3 YEARS OLD!!!!  Look at that sweet little thing.  With his sweet little fingers.  And his sweet fat cheeks.  I want to go back.  🙁

Back to the chicken horror show –

As DH was maneuvering this chicken into correct deskinning position it said, “BOOARQ.”

Yes, until you remove it’s “noise maker” the chickens can still squawk, bok, and make chicken noises… even without a head.  All you have to do is squish their bodies the right way.  This is amusing to some (sick) people.

So, DH likes to jiggle headless, dead chickens in order for them to make noises and horrify all the small children who happen to be present.  What is wrong with him?

The dead, headless chicken said, “BOOARQ.”

Then my 3 year old son looked at DH and said, “Dad, I think he just said he doesn’t want to be dead.”

Yes, pulling the guts out of a just killed chicken sometimes come with surprises.  We have pulled out several eggs over the years.

For some reason, it is extremely unappetizing.  No.  I don’t want to eat it.  

Chickens hanging by their feet….. without heads.

This is pretty much what our entire farm looked like when we used “kill cones.” I know many people love the things. We don’t.  We much prefer the step on the head & pull technique.  It’s quick, clean, easy and arguably the best way to kill a chicken.  To learn how to do it go here.

Another chicken processing disaster was when we decided that (maybe) if we chop of the head & shove the chicken into a clean 5 gallon bucket it will just chill-ax and not do back flips… and not shower us with blood….  and not chase people around the farm…

Nope.  Bucket = Bad idea.

This chicken was white…. before the bucket experience.  Don’t do this.  It was just as messy as the cones & processing a chicken covered in blood is a sticky, horrible experience.

Its funny how the kids change over the years as more chickens go into the freezer.  The first year they’re hiding in the house, with their fingers in their ears, saying, “La-la-la-la-la-la.”

But before long they’re….

Assassinating…

And Transporting…

And Chopping…

And Plucking…

The next thing ya’ know, you’ll have tiny chicken-murderers in training…..

You’ll be finding chicken wings and feet in their bedrooms [Shutter],

And you’ll be saying things like:

“No.  You can’t take the chicken foot in the house.”

“No. You can’t show the neighbors your chicken wing.”

Just some of the joys of farm-life.

Like I said, We’ve come a long way in the chicken processing department…. to see how we do things now, please go here.  We’ve learned a lot since 2011.

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Fried Chicken Anyone?

-Candi